Archive for November, 2009

November 11, 2009

Good Days

Lots of 'em lately.  Okay well, Monday was pretty terrible, but the thing is-  Tuesday?  A whole new day.

So that was awesome.  There is just so much to be thankful for.  Good, good stuff. 

It's all gravy you know?  Giffen made dinner (including appetizers) Monday night. 

Gabe told Emma that she was "Just the cutest girl in the whole world" today on our walk home. 

Gabes Emmy mastered a pirouette this afternoon, kind of.

Grace snuggles with me every morning now.

Fly is busy, busy, busy.  And so so great.  Oh! Our wedding site is up- check it.  Boy do we love Love Stories.  

If you don't hear from me for a bit it's cause I'm super busy enjoying autumn, and cuddling kids, and loving life.

Oh and speaking of cuddling!  How flippin' adorable is Cole? 

I know right.


I don't know, it's not that there aren't bad days it's just that…  that sun keeps rising and shining on brand new days.

Anywho, life is good an all that jazz.  

Jesus loves me (and you, and you, and you over there, and you in the back) this I know.  Also, my kids rock my socks off pretty much daily. 



November 9, 2009

The Way She Loves

A couple of things about Grace:

            When I got pregnant with her I was on the edge of depression.  Kind of scared about where my marriage and life were going.  A little overwhelmed with the three Little Wonders that I already had, and well just not in a great place.  So the news that I was pregnant hit me like a ton of bricks, and not in a good way.  It was very unlike my other pregnancies where I sort of fell in love immediately with the little being inside of my belly. 

After a couple of days of laying in bed half hoping the pregnancy test was wrong, I went to lunch with Debby.  At that point she was still mostly a formal-ish mentor.  We met up at La Madeline and while standing in line, she noticed my pout-iness.  She asked what was wrong and I sort of mumbled out “Oh, I’m pregnant.”  Now Debby is kind of er…  reserved, or, I don’t know, she‘s just not very reactive.  She’s kind of known for keeping her cool.  Anyway, so I halfheartedly say “I’m pregnant.”  And she- I’m not kidding you, she jumps up into the air and kind of screeches out some excitement and hugs me.  It was bizarre.  Wonderful and bizarre.

            I did my best to calm her down “Oh, no.  We’re not excited.”  That’s what I said.  In a very Eyore kind of tone, I tried to talk her into being sad about me having a baby.  Didn’t work though.  She was super happy about it and I thought “Either she knows something I don’t know or she is crazy.”  I gotta be honest, I was leaning towards crazy. 

It really was not until Pie was born and I laid eyes on her sweet little face that I totally fell in love with her.  But man did I fall hard.  She, like all of my kiddos, is so uniquely special and wonderful.  Gracey’s uniqueness though is an effervescence of well, Grace.  Her gift to me and I think to others is that she loves easily and well.  I hope that all of my kids have some of this gift, I think they do, but it is just her nature to love and be loved without pretense.

Our life was Turned Upside Down before she was even a year old.  Her babyhood  was so totally different from my other ones, not as peaceful, less ideal.  She spent more time away from me than any of my babies did.  And now she is so, so, so independent.  She will never remember living in a house with both of her parents.  Her birthday and holiday memories will only contain one parent or the other.  Hard stuff to think about, only for me though, not for her. 


She might be tiny but her spirit and her capacity for Love are huge. She is fierce, my little Gracey Pie, fierce, and undeterred, and sweet, and funny, and too smart for her own good, and loud, and proud, and beautiful, and generous, and kind, and full of words and life and love.

So the other day when I looked at this photo I thought back to Debby jumping to congratulate me about being pregnant with Grace.

And I thought- She totally knew.  


November 5, 2009



Happy Birthday Bridge

One of the best friends anyone in the whole world could have, for all of the wonderful reasons Erin wrote and more.  Love shines through her pretty much constantly.  I really can’t remember ever looking at her and not seeing love in her eyes.  One of those friends who is there in heartbeat when you need them, before you even have to ask.  She is a giver and a doer.  One of those friends who in good times will celebrate and laugh with you, and in hard times, will hold you up and help you. She just loves so well.  I think maybe this has to do with how well she is loved and how well she receives love.  This girl has an enormous capacity to do those things.  She is open and warm and bright, jeez she’s bright.  


She and Erin are two of my very best friends.  So very different, but still they are friends, a feat I hope my girls manage when they are grown ups.   And they are something like sisters to me, so, so thankful for that.

My girls have them to look up to though and I love that.  They love their “Bidget” dearly and she loves them back the same and the boys too.  Bgsb So I have this amazing friend and my kids have this amazing aunt and I am so incredibly grateful that so much of our lives run together. 


Brigdet Alison,

You are beautiful and lovely and sweet.  Thank you for loving me the way you have.  Thank you for big-sistering me.  I could maybe never thank you enough for the way you love my kids.  And for helping me through the crazy awful mess that was last year.  This next year I’m sure holds big amazing things for you.  Can’t wait to see where you’re gonna go and what He’s gonna do.  I’m sure whatever happens you’ll shine, you always do. 

Love you so so much always,




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