Archive for May, 2010

May 21, 2010

Molly and Crew

So this is kinda the story of how Molly and I became friends…


Debby was my mentor and friend for a while, a
year maybe, and I knew she had these two daughters that she totally adored, but
for whatever reason I hadn't met them.   So for
the longest time all I knew was that Amy existed and she was the best wife and
mother in the world, and Molly existed and she was totally charming and
fabulous.   When I first started hanging
out with Molly she was pregnant with her first baby and I was separated from my
husband.  And so it was at these very
opposite stages that two very opposite girls became more than friends.  And Debby was right, Molly is totally
charming and fabulous.  She is her
Mother’s daughter in just about every way possible, with her Daddy’s Killer
lashes and smile. 


While Molly was pregnant with Cade and we were still kind of getting to know each other, God gave me a vision of
her and her new baby and a word for her. 
From what I understand Molly was different before Caden. Now I suppose all
moms are different before they are moms, but I didn’t know Pre-Cade Molly very
well, and so this word I had for her was something about her being fierce which
really didn’t mean much to me being that I didn’t know her that well. But now
that I do, well let's just say I
really understand why the word was so fitting.   


In this vision I saw Molly loving this new baby boy.  And I don’t know how to explain how amazing
it still is now, the look I saw on her face and the sweet little crown of her baby
boy in her arms…    Amazing, that’s all I
got.  Though at first we may have doubted
whether or not that vision and word was truly from God, all of that was put to
rest when he was born.  I went to the
hospital to meet him on a terrible day for me in the midst of my divorce, but this
little boy, he made all the terrible of that day go away.  As I held his tiny self Debby said I should take
his hat off and look at his hair.  And oh man, I still remember, that's when I knew it was him.  His hair, not blond or brown, not curly or
straight, just a swirly mess on his new little head was exactly what I had
seen. Caden was indeed himself, sent from God just for us.  He was the beginning of a lot of things for a lot of people.  And boy does Molly love him fiercely.  We all do. 
It is one of the things Molly and I have in common, a fierce love of her family,
our friendship was built on it. 

Caden 426.1

So now Molly, this girl who does love her role of baby sister, has sort of become the older sister of an oldest child.  We are More Than Friends for sure.  And as opposite as we may be, her
bigsistering has been just what I needed on many occasions.  I think the things we don’t have in common
have helped us grow.  I think I love that
I get to be whatever it is I get to be to her.



Your friendship means the world to me.  From your straightforward advice and
candid humor to your vulnerable sighs and honest words, you’ve taught me a ton
about being a grown up.  You’ve taught me
a ton about being a daughter.  I can’t
thank you enough for letting me borrow your mom, and dad, and sister, and
babies whenever I need a little love.   I
can’t thank you enough for opening your home and heart and welcoming me and all
my messes in.  You inspire me with your
strength and determination.  You humble
me with your encouragement and kind words. 
My life is fuller and richer because of you and your crew.  

Love you so so much, always,



May 9, 2010


These kids I have?  All I ever wanted.


This motherhood gig is a tough one for sure, but I just keep thinking about my childhood and how hard most of the adults around me made it seem to really love kids.  And now that I have them, don’t get me wrong, there are hard days, they are whiny and they fight and they get on my nerves- But they are not hard to love. 

These kids are so incredibly lovable.  And they are so incredibly likable. 

And they are my little friends.  And they are my loves.  



This single mom thing is not where I thought I would ever end up, it is a place that I gave everything I had to stay out of, but it is where I am at now, it is where we are at.  It's not the easiest, it's busy, it's tough, it's work and it's tiring.  But I want to make sure that I never lose sight of, that they always know, that they mean the world to me. 

And so I am doing my best to change our family’s legacy.  It is my intention to give my kids a richer heritage than what I was handed.  Now for sure, I repeatedly I trip up, and stumble, and fall, and fail at doing the right thing, but I will never stop pushing, and learning, and growing, and trying to be a better mom. 



Because they are indeed treasures.  Their little hearts and minds were entrusted to me to nurture and love.  And they are growing bigger and smarter and stronger everyday.  And everyday is an opportunity for me to love them better.    542.1



Listen, I want you to know that I am doing my best, I really am, to show you all the time that you are loved, loved, loved.  Forgive me please for times when I fail at that.  And thank you for the thousands of things you have taught me about love.  Please never hesitate to love big and shine bright.  Always know that this earthly love so pales in comparison to His Love.  Stay true, laugh loud, dance often. 


Love you so, so much, always,



May 4, 2010

The Birthday Girls

Unfortunately for my lovely little girls their birthday's fell in the middle of some major incidents this year.  I think (hope) we celebrated them sufficiently nonetheless.  And I'm still in a little over my head right now, but I do have a few pictures and a quick story to tell…


We sat at dinner tonight and went around the table and said why were glad that Grace was born.  Emma said she was glad that she could have someone to play with and dance with.  (It's so wonderfully sweet to me that these two very different little girls are built-in-best-friends and grateful for it.)  Gabe said that he was glad she was born because she made our family big and it wouldn't be a big family without her.  (That is a true statement if I have ever heard one.)  And then it was Griff's turn and he looked Grace right in the eyes and cocked his head to the side and said "I'm glad that Grace was born because she is grace."  He is a profound boy that Griff.  It was an amazing little moment we all had together as we sat and looked at Our Pie and thought about the ways she has made our lives better.  


"Oh, and she's cute!  I love her 'cause she brought cute to our family." Gabe said. 

And because Emmy is Emmy, her feelings got hurt and she piped up in her squeaky little offended voice "But I'm cute, and you have me."  Gabe sat for a second and thought deeply about how to right his statement "Well, yes, but I mean very very cute."  he said in a baby talk voice as he looked at Grace and tousled her hair.

And as I glanced over at Emmy who I knew would be even more upset by that, I heard Griffen whack Gabe on the back of the head. "That's for hurting Emma's feelings Gabe." 

Lovely.  Perfect. Well it is my perfect at least. 

My Princess is five.  I'm not sure how that's possible, but she is.  And she is sure she is ready for the world.  And I am sure she is not, and I am doing my best to get her ready.  And I think this might be forever the way it will be.  And my Pie is three.  My bossy little baby is three years old, one year closer to President of the United States. 

And oh wow, these Four Little Wonders, they are now 3, 5, 7 and 9.  And It is moments like these that make me love love love and yes sometimes hate that I get them all to myself.

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