Archive for April, 2009

April 27, 2009

the way she sees it

Gracey slept through a ferocious thunderstorm this morning.
So did Gabe.  Griff and Em cuddled up with me soon after it started and the other two did not so much as flinch as the lightening flashed, and thunder roared, and the electricity flickered on and off this morning. 
My mom came over to watch the girls for a photo shoot that got cancled, so I went out for a little coffee with E and a little down time at the book store.  A grande mild in a venti cup, and a new Billie Holiday cd later, I came home to lunch with my little best friends.  And then Emmy decided she wanted to take pictures. 
She belives being a photographer is just something that happens, like being a teenager. 
That's how she thinks of it. 
"Mommy, now I am a girl, and one day I will be a photographer, and one day I will be a teenager, and one day I will be a mommy."
Really it was too dark outside for photos, but I let her take some anyways. 
And I'm so glad she did. 

April 20, 2009

A Little Fit

Today was gorgeous, so we walked to pick up the boys from school. 
And Grace had a little fit on the way home:
Well, it was a big fit really:
It was a twenty minute fit:
A fit about me not holding her:
In my defense, I was pushing a stroller that she could have been riding in.
She is a stubborn little girl. 
But she gets that from me.
So she cried most of the way home.
After lots of this:
She did finally end up riding in the stroller, exhausted from her fit.
I won.  And it was worth it. 
My reward?
Coffee ice cream.
Winning is delicious.

April 17, 2009






April 15, 2009


    The first time I remember Griffen noticing a girl was when he was four.  We were at a friends house and their daughter came downstairs in running shorts and Griff leaned in to me and whispered in a very harsh voice, "That is so inappropriate.  Her clothes are way too little.  Her pants don't even have any leg sleeves".  And yes, he really talked like that when he was four, and yes we all managed to keep from laughing our heads off.

    The first time I remember Gabe noticing a girl he was also four.  We were driving somewhere and there was a fund raising car wash and Gabe said "Oooo!  Look at those cheerleaders!"

    They're different in almost every way, my two boys.

And I love that.
Tonight on our walk we were taking turns making up riddles. 
Griffen said "Okay Gabe, I'm tall, and I'm hot, and I'm found in tropical places."
Gabe's answer?  
Without missing a beat, and very certain he was right, finger in the air,
Gabe says "A teenage girl."

The answer was "volcano", and Gabe got it after some very detailed scientific explanation from Griff.  Interesting though, how their little minds work.  Interesting and scary.

April 13, 2009

Her Words

She is full of words. 
I mean, I thought Griff was a talker, but I'm afraid she has him beat by a long shot.  And she's missing the shy factor.  She really is void of any shyness. 
She just doesn't have it in her at all to be afraid I don't think. 
And so she is full of words and has no fear.
And her words come across sometimes as slightly condescending.
She kind of comes across as a bossy know-it-all sometimes.  Which is funny because she is number four.  Not number one.  But apparently nobody told her that, because she thinks she's in charge. 
Her words are constant and mostly directive.
Some excerpts:
"Mommy, you no shut the door.  I shut the door.  Watch you fingers."
"Mommy, that's annoying.  Turn it down."
"Mommy, you hold my baby.  She sleeping.  You be gentle.  Mommy, she go night night.  I be right back." 
"Emma, you no touch it my baby.  You get you baby Emma."
"Gabe, you be quiet.  You sit down.  You no be loud."
"Giffen you get me my blankie."
And for the most part we listen.  For the most part we follow her instructions.  Because really, for the most part she is totally sweet and precious.  And for the most part her sentences include the word "lub". 
"Mommy, I lub you so much"
"Emma I lub you hugs"
"Gabe I lub you gimme kisses"
"I lub Giffen"
And she repeats everything. Everything. 
Tonight she opened a childproof bottle of advil right in from of me, in like two seconds.
And I'm not saying whether or not she was repeating this, but she did in fact say "Oley Sit"
Sweet.  She's not even two yet folks.  I'm just sayin'.  I might be in trouble with this one.

April 11, 2009

Good Friday

a day late…
Let me tell you something that may not really be that profound to you- 
In falling more in love with Jesus, in knowing Him more as a friend,
in seeing Him more as a Savior, it is much harder to think that a crown of thorns was placed on His head. 
It is much harder to think that they nailed my Jesus to a cross.
That they mocked and crucified my Friend, my Lover, my King- is almost crushing.
That I am capable of the same awfulness is almost crushing just the same.
In examining myself and my sin a more closely, it is so much more profound that He did that, willingly, for me.
That He died, that He endured the pain and separation for everyone-
all of us, sinners, saints and murderers, thieves, believers, followers and betrayers-
that's a bigger Love than I will ever be able to fully comprehend.
And so tomorrow is Easter, and the Hope in Easter is amazing and wonderful, but I will contemplate that tomorrow.
Tonight I'm contemplating the most beautiful sacrifice in history.
Tonight I'm thinking about the how's and why's of a crown of thorns
And the awful pain and the amazing love in being nailed to a cross.

April 8, 2009

Telling Stories

Raise your hand if you're shocked that I didn't do these dishes last night.
    I host this small group on Tuesdays.  Erin leads it.  It's a good mix.  Bridget, Randy, Michael, Sean and Jess came last night.  We usually have coffee and cookies, and sit around and ponder highly philosophical things like I-Pod play list's, and bicycles, and Super Mario Bros.  It can get pretty intense.  Usually there is a discussion topic of some sort that involves a question about Jesus and how he effects the way we live our lives.  Obviously that's a wonderful thing to discuss, important to talk about, and great to hear about.    We took communion too, because breaking bread together is an important thing, a simple thing, a good thing.  This is Holy Week, and Jesus died on a cross for you, and me, and everyone really.  He gave us life by losing His, because that's the way He loves.  So we took time out to meditate on that. Oddly enough, Erin and I got paired off.  We do spend a ton of time together, E and I, but it was nice to spend that kind of time together, serving, and listening, and praying.  We sang a couple of songs and wrapped up, kind of.  The last two weeks we've ended with a  little wind down/ story time.  Not really intentionally. We've just all ended up sitting around laughing together about odd and funny things that have happened to us.  You know that nice lull that happens at the end of a structured discussion and how it sometimes morphs into, "The funniest thing happened last Friday…"?   I love that. This week started off a little rough for me, (not rough compared to six months ago rough), but not as swimmingly as I would have liked.  So it was nice to spend Tuesday night laughing with friends.
These are remnants of a night well spent. 
This morning started off better than I would of thought on only four hours of sleep.  I think because laughter, and friends, and sharing are life giving.  I think because focusing on Jesus is maybe the most helpful thing I can do for myself.    
(Gabe snapped this shot before school because he loves taking pictures, and he sees light.) 
Anyway, things are looking up and stuff. 

And I got this shot of Gracey this morning. 
I know they're dust particles, but she calls them sparkles.  And that's what I call looking on the bright side of things. 

Happy Wednesday everyone. 
And tell me, what is it that you do that lifts your spirits and breeds love and life?

April 6, 2009


This shot was taken at the end of a perfectly magical day the other day,
at the end of which Gabe said "Mom, this was a great day. 
The baseball games, flying kites, hot dogs, reading in the grass,
playing on the rocks, and fireworks.  But do you know what the best part was? 
You mom."
and then Griff said "Hey Mom, I think we're happy rich. 
Like you know, we have a lot of happy."
They say the best things, my boys.  I swear there's somebody feeding them lines. 
I kind of expect to see a boom mic falling into the shot sometimes. 

April 1, 2009

My Emmy

She is four.  Wow. 
Wow because I can't believe it's been four years since I first held her tiny, chubby little self. 
Wow because she seems so much older sometimes. 
But she is four whether I like it or not. 
My flower picking, song singing, dancing little love is four.
And today was a lovely day.  

She helped make her cake.
And we had a laid back little party.
And she got the scooter she so wanted.
And I am just completely grateful for the light, and life, and love that she is.
My Emmy,
    You beautiful, wonderful little girl, you are my sunshine.  It seems like only yesterday you were learning to hold up three fingers and saying "I'm free!".   It seems like only yesterday you were toddling around on chunky little legs.  It seems like only yesterday I held you and begged for you to stay four days old forever.  But you didn't my love.  You grew, and you keep growing, and you keep amazing me.  I still find myself staring at your perfect little face in wonder some days.  And there really is not a day that goes by that I don't thank God for the gift of your sweet little soul.  Em, you are a dream and so much more.  An adoring little sister, and a doting big sister, my first daughter, you are so very much.  You are one of my best friends, love, so dear to me.  And I want you always to know how incredibly special you are, how immensely you are loved, how treasured you are.  And I want you to know how possible your dreams are little one.  So, so possible.  So dream big babygirl.  Reach for the stars.  And love big Emmy, just the way you do now, always.  And shine.  Shine love. 
Love you so, so much, always,

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