Archive for September, 2008

September 30, 2008

this breeze

Go outside!  Open your windows, let the breeze catch your curtains.  Turn your favorite music up and dance in your back yard.  Take your shoes off and sit in the grass.  Start a new book or finish an old one on a blanket under the sun.   Snack on a crisp apple and sip some ice water and listen to the  birds, then sing along.  Good grief, could it be more gorgeous?  Laugh more today than you did yesterday.  Smile because you can.  Love, love, love!
And listen to this.


September 24, 2008

my goodness

Emma is laying in my bed, making up songs and telling me about her day and snacking on some remnants of lunch while I work a bit and I'm only halfway paying attention to her and then she says "Oh my goodness." in a sweet little sing-songy voice.  "Why did you say oh my goodness?" I said.  "Because I'm not allowed to say shit." she said with the sweetest most innocent smile on her face  "Oh, okay."
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And last night Griffen had a bad dream and Emma joined us somewhere around 3a.m.
And this morning my bed looked like this. 
And this is perfection to me.  
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September 19, 2008

the smell of fresh cut grass

I know this blog is mostly for my kiddos, but it is my blog, so here is a little post for me.

I just finished mowing my grass.  It was not bad, hard work, but it is done now and it feels like some sort of right of passage into single-mom-hood.  Lots of things feel like that, my first parent teacher conference by myself, staying home alone on weekends, teaching the boys to ride their bikes. Life is different than I thought it would look, but it is life and I love life.  Tonight as I was enjoying the smell of fresh cut grass and thinking about what appetizers to serve at my housewarming party I realized just how much I love this new life we have, again.  And at 26, with four kids and my life in this odd cycle of changing and settling where it keeps knocking me down and tripping me up I am figuring some things out as I get up and brush the dirt off.  I have learned that nobody has better friends than me.  Nobody.  Nobody has Erin who is not only one of my best friends, but my business partner, she is a phenomenal writer, a passionate runner and a hot humanitarian.  She is amazing and she teaches me thousands of things about Jesus by just being herself.    Nobody has Bridge (and everybody should have a Bridge) this girl, also a phenomenal writer, has supported me, been there for me, spoken truth into my life, and hugged the crap out of me like nobody else.  And Oh My Gosh, nobody has Debby.  She has been some odd mix of mother and best friend and sister in a way that has allowed her to pick me up and brush me off and push me forward and make me laugh and make me think all at the same time.  These women, along with a few other truly awesome friends, Heather, Susanna, Meghan, Amy, Molly, Joan, Anna, Jess and Julie have loved me at my worst and given me hope for better.  And one of the best things about my little circle of friends, Jesus is so into them.  He is so with us, so for us.  Really, what more could I ask for?  Because of Him, because of them, I have learned that I have lots and lots of strength, maybe more then a I would have cared to find out that I had.  I have wisdom and courage.   I am capable.  Mostly, I am blessed. 

September 16, 2008

her morning run

Apparently, she is a runner.  She wakes up in the morning and spits out her paci and says "Outside!!" and off she goes.  Two of my best friends are runners and they both talk often about needing to run and how it makes their day better.  This is true for Grace too, she needs to run, it makes her day better.  And it makes my day better to see her happily doing laps around our back yard, squealing and laughing and going as fast as her tiny little legs will take her.  I hope she goes through life like this, with this drive and determination, with this love and joy. My friends who are runners have those things, they have passion and that is what I want for Grace.  I see glimpses of it now and it amazes me.  Amazing Gracey, she is a runner…
Her morning run

September 9, 2008

getting to know emmy

I've never really gotten to spend this much alone time with Emma.  It's kind of awesome.  I think, (I hope) she loves it as much as do.  Both of the boys are in school and Grace naps for about 2 hours a day, so it's just me and Em.  She talks so much more now and she is getting better at spending time alone, but mostly she likes to hang out with me.  You would think (I would think) I would get annoyed, but honestly it's kind of nice.  She's great at putting dishes and laundry away and I never mind when she asks me to take a break from picking up to twirl her.  Our conversations are quite entertaining and answering her constant questions keeps my brain from turning to mush.  She watches me cook with keen interest.  She scribbles on post-it's and leaves them all over the house, "notes for you mommy".   And having her lay on my bed and sing her made up songs while I work is the perfect background music.  She has my undivided attention and I have hers.  She is my little best friend.

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September 4, 2008


There are not really big enough words for how much we adore Our New Place.  It was kind of a big week last week.  We moved, Gabe turned six and started school, Griffen changed schools, we talked to the kids about divorce, it was a lot.  This week though, this week has been amazing.  We are happy.  So many things are great- the space, the back yard, the floors, the kitchen.  Days pass easily.  The boys have friends over to play, Grace spends the whole day "outside, outside OUTSIDE!" and Emma spends her days in her window seat, her "stage and desk", homework is done at the kitchen counter, helping hands make dinner with me, naps are had, laundry is put away, baths are given, music is heard.  And, and, and, almost constantly, dances are danced, our whole house is a dance floor.  Life seems lighter now,  love is here, we are home.
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