Archive for August, 2009

August 28, 2009


Seven years ago I gave birth to my youngest son.  
It was revolutionary.  Of course all births are.  But Griff's birth was dramatic. And I was just a kid when he was born anyway.  So then Gabe came along, quietly and sweetly and stole a piece of my heart with his intense little soul. 

He changed so much about me.  Thank God.
He is fierce, and quiet, and shy, and gentle.  My Sweet One, my little man.  He looks up to his big brother and looks after his little sisters.  He feels deeply, whatever the emotion.  He is not lacking in the passion department.  He hums constantly, and dances, and drums, and sings, there is music in this kids veins.  And he sees so well, he has a great eye, he is an artist.   All these things wrapped up in a tiny little package, he is a small-ish guy, my Gabe.  A smallish, handsome, moody, intense, creative little guy, and a cuddler.
And he's a lover, and maybe sometimes a fighter, but mostly a lover. 
My Sweet One,
You inspire me with your passion Love.  Your quiet fierceness is more powerful than you know.  And your sight is keener than any seven year old I know.  You've got vision little man.  You've got passion and power and vision and that is an amazing combination.  God has big plans for you Gabeeo.  And I'm thankful that He entrusted me with you.  Getting to be your mom is a privilege, and holding you is a privilege too.  Thank you for letting me hold you, still.  A few days ago, you were sitting in my lap and I kissed your nose and said "I love you My Sweet One" and you cupped my face in your hands and looked me right in the eyes and said "And I love you My Beautiful One".   I don't even know how to begin to tell you how that felt.  The wonderful thing about your transparent blue eyes is that they are so transparent.  All the love that you hold shines right through them.  And the wonderful thing about your words being so few is that they mean that much more.  So that little moment is now forever ingrained in my memory along with so many other great moments you've given me.  You are a gift Son, truly. 
Love you so, so much, always


August 24, 2009

This Week So Far

Emmy taught herself how to read.  And she's four.  No phonics program, no prodding from me- she just started putting letter sounds together and figuring words out.  What can I say?  My kids are unbelievably smart.  And quirky, they're also unbelievably quirky. 
She walked up to me one day and pointed out a word in the back of her Pocket New Testament, and said "Ar-a-bic.  Mommy does this say Arabic?"  Kind of shocked I said "Yes Emmy it does!  Wow, you just read your first word!"
A couple of days later I was telling a friend that Emma had started sounding out words.  She pointed to a word and asked Emma to read it.  And Emma said "No.  Sorry, I can only read Arabic."    Brilliant. 
In other news: Grace is a tomboy.
No love for pigtails here.  No time for bows or clips. 
Outdoors, dirt, grass, she's there. 
And I wouldn't have it any other way.  I'm pretty sure God knew what He was doing when He gave me these super amazing girls. 

Oh, and the boys, also super amazing. 
Did a fantastic job of getting up and ready for school all by themselves, pretty much bounded out of the house with huge grins on their faces (did not exactly enjoy me stopping them for pictures) and both had awesome first days. 
It's been a great summer. 
And we're still enjoying these sweet summer evenings. 
And I'm so excited to see where these bright boys will go this year.

So excited to go with them.
They are super amazing indeed. 
The perfect kids for me.

So yay for fresh starts and getting back on proverbial horses and all that jazz.
And peek-a-boo.  Yay for peek-a-boo

August 21, 2009

These Punks

Oh my goodness.  How?   And when?   And…  wow. 
I have a third grader
and a first grader.
Actually, a couple of punks is what I have.
Good lookin' punks, but punks nonetheless.
The other day a friend of mine was talking about her grown son and said
"He's 29, still a punk though."
I said, "That doesn't give me much hope."
"Well it's true" she replied.

The boys start school on Monday.
They're about to be seven and nine. 
I'm just kind of in shock. 
I do think that them being punks will come in handy when their little sisters have *shudder* boys to worry about. 
I hope so at least, because I don't own a shotgun *yet*.


Oh yeah, and, purely for entertainment the other day I attempted a shot of the four of them together.
It went a little something like this:

Guys please please please.  Can I get one picture of you together?  Pleeeeeease.
Okay, here, just sit here and look at me, and then- Ice cream!!!  Look!  (jumping, waving)  Guys look at me and I'll get you some ice cream!!
Everybody, look!!  There is ice cream in the freezer for you if you'll just…
Oh jeez, never mind.

August 19, 2009

Our Fort

Four days without kiddos was restful and peaceful and quiet and sweet.
Getting them back last night was great. They were all worn out and happy to see me. A few hugs and kisses later they were tucked in to their beds and snoozing away.  We feasted on Lucky Charms together this morning-
And then we built a fort. 
Remember these magical places? 
Remember transforming your living room with a few dining room chairs and blankets?
Remember sitting under them and feeling like you were in your own little world?
A couple of weeks ago I spent lots of days in bed, not sick, just…  down.  Really down. 
Thanks to some prayer, and some amazing friends, and a really wonderful counselor, and a list of other things that help me feel good that I sort of forgot about- I'm feeling so much better. 
Every time I come out of those dark places I believe more firmly in things that I only kind of thought to be right before.  A few days ago a friend asked how I was doing and I said I felt like I was climbing out of a hole.  Though it does not feel awesome to be in a hole, it does feel much better to be looking up and climbing out than it did sitting on the bottom looking down.  I would go as far as to say I am out of the hole now, and have marked it on my map so that next time hopefully I won't fall in to it again.  
And it feels much better to be playing with and enjoying my kiddos and not just making it through the day.  School starts in just a few short days, and we plan on squeezing the most fun we can out of them.
Daydreaming, reading old stories and writing new ones.
We do our best dreaming during the day I think. 

August 11, 2009


lucky for me
i have these
little wonders
because lately
i feel
like this
i'm working on it though
really i am

started this old favorite tonight
love this precocious little girl
the kids really seem to as well
thank God for good stories


August 3, 2009

making it

Ladies and gentlemen, summer is kicking my butt.  A lot of it. 
So here are some pictures.  Not many words.  Good grief. 

Here's Pie, trying to boss these flowers into her hands, that's the way she rolls.
And Em, she just loves them into her hands I think.  And then cries when they die. 
Gabe, spraying Griff.  Mischievous? Indeed.
Griff.  Silly little man that I love.  Quirky Mc Quirkerton.
We've played in the rain.  Oh the rain.  Man has it been raining. 
And washed the van. 
Fun for them, productive for me. 
And tons of other things I think.  Can't remember for sure as summer seems to be flying by.  The good parts at least. 
One consistent thing?  Pie. 
She is first out of bed.  At my bedside.  Saying good morning in her never quiet voice. And asking for breakfast, well it's more like demanding. 
So I get up out of bed in the mornings. 
For her. 
Don't know what I would do with out Grace. 

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