Archive for June, 2010

June 21, 2010

Just Sayin’

Usually I keep the heavy stuff over on the other blog…

But lest anyone assume it is all sunshine and roses and love notes over here- thought I’d let you in on some of the madness…

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This Single Momming thing, though it has it’s ups, is uh, not for the faint of heart.  And the Ex is uh, not super dad by any means.  So we have a minimum custody agreement which basically means he only has them for three hours on Thursdays and every other weekend.  So that’s kind of a lot for me sometimes.  I mean, I don’t know if I mentioned this before, but I have four kids.  And mostly when people hear that they say “FOUR KIDS?!  Wow, that’s a lot.”  And mostly when I hear somebody say that I say “I wake up many mornings thinking that exact thing.”

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On my long weeks I have the kids for twelve days straight on my own with only the three hour break on Thursday night.  Now, generally one of My Amazing Friends or The Baby Sis will help out somewhere in there with babysitting, just to keep me sane, (relatively).  But let’s just say that Tuesday night and Wednesday of the long weeks are not my finest hours.  They are kind of wretched.  They are ramen noodle, netflix, sleep in yesterdays clothes, long afternoon quiet time days.

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They are the days when Griffen comes up to me very excited about his new invention and tries to explain every detail and my eyes glaze over and I nod impatiently for a minute or two before waving him away.   They are the days when Gabe wants to sit in my lap all day and hug me and squirm around and elbow me and snuggle and be sweet and I say “BE STILL OR GET OFF!”  And mostly he gets his feelings hurt and gets off.  They are the days when Emmy’s squeals of delight in the next room are about as delightful as nails on a chalk board and I march in every twenty minutes and demand that she be quiet, all day.  And they are the days when Grace’s running through the house taking charge of every situation and reporting all the details back to me makes me want to lock myself in the closet, but instead I usually get down in her face and tell her to shut it.  Not pretty, but true.

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Just wanted to let you know I guess, there are hard days around here.  There are sometimes very bad days around here.  For the most part I am a sane and decent parent.  But also, I yell through clenched teeth sometimes.  I take breaks in my room to keep myself from kicking doors.  I put the kids to bed ridiculously early some nights to keep myself from flailing.  Sometimes I grab them too rough and say unkind things.  And I pray, pray, pray that my munchkins feel loved even on those hard days.  I pray that I will have the strength and patience and grace to be better all the time.  I really do.  And I think maybe I am getting better.  It’s been quite a while since I’ve locked myself in the closet, or locked the kids outside, or had a major meltdown…    Knock on wood.  

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Time with Jesus helps, a lot.  Friends help.  Chocolate helps.

Just sayin

June 10, 2010

Love Notes

Inspired to join the love note revolution seen here and here

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So who should I write this love note to?

 

My Oldest Boy

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My Griff- The one who made me a mother, the one who brought whole new meaning to “You Are My Sunshine”.  This almost ten year old that throws his arms around me and kisses me in public still.  He is a reader, a writer, a thinker~ manchild. 

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Griff, you my boy are brilliant, you are funny, wise and unique.  I think often that you will make an incredible husband and father because you have an incredible capacity to love.  

Or…

My Sweet One

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My Gabe- The little bundle who came in softly and melted my heart with his quiet easiness.  The boy who’s passion and temper come around just often enough to help me really appreciate his profound and simple sweetness. 

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My Sweet One, I love that there is such an abundance of love in your tiny self that it comes pouring out sometimes and all you know to do is let it flow. 

 

 

Or…

My Emmy

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My Princess- You sensitive little soul, to say that things affect you deeply is an understatement.  Your heart is tender girl, and you don’t care who knows it.  Your eyes, moons when you smile, are kind and gentle.  You said to me once that you knew how to make them sparkle and then I watched you do it. 

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Beautiful girl, you shine.  My Princess, may your softness and your beauty affect deeply everything you do. 

Or…

My Grace 

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My Pie- Fiercest girl I know, gift that I didn’t know I needed.  You were born to lead and you know it.    You keep us grounded, you keep us going, you keep me on my toes.  Bright and bold and yes, ballsy.  And yes, sweet as pie when you want to be.  

 

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Grace, it is no secret there is greatness in you.  Grow in grace little love and may your light pierce the darkness more and more as you do.

 

 Or…

 Myself

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(Can I write a love note to myself without being sarcastic and self deprecating?  I don’t know.)

I do know this.  I am strong, brave, wise and damn funny.  I am blessed beyond measure.  I am looked after by The Most Wonderful Father.  I am beautiful? Yes, I think so.  I am passionate, sensitive, soft and bold.   

Hey You,

You’re doing a good job with these kids and this life ya know?  Screw ups and meltdowns aside because there is grace, you’re really fabulous.  Nice legs and great jokes aside (for the moment), you’re a really great person. (And gosh darn it, people like you.)

 

 

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Ah, love notes, I might be addicted to them.  There might be a few more of these already written.  My Creator has a long one in the works for sure.  And they may or may not pop up here~ or in your mailbox.  You never know. 

And hey, join the Love Note Revolution. Write a love note, (or twenty). Can't hurt. 

Love, love,

Me

 

 

 

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