Archive for June, 2008

June 30, 2008


i came across these photos yesterday and fell in love with them all over again.  this is cade again.  i have about a thousand photos of cade, but for some reason i really love these.  as i sat and stared at this little peanut, it hit me.  it is a picture of him doing what he was made to do: stretching.  as we all know, babies are born doing a few things, they have some built in instincts.  they eat, they sleep, they cry and they stretch.  they do some other things too, sure, but these four things, a baby can choose when and how.  the thing about this stretch in this photo is, it is so full on, there is nothing halfway about this stretch.  you can see it in his face and hands and legs even, he has decided to and he is- 
s t r e t c h i n g. 
he is both causing and responding to growth in his own little body.  that is truly amazing to me.  and because i love definitions, i looked it up–

1. to draw out or extend (oneself, a body, limbs, wings, etc.) to the full length or extent
2. to extend, force, or make serve beyond the normal or proper limits
3. to extend, spread, or place (something) so as to reach from one point or place to another
4. to hold out, reach forth, or extend

so we are born with this instinct to extend ourselves and force ourselves beyond our normal limits, to reach from one point to another, to reach forth.  eating, sleeping, crying, they make sense, we have to eat and sleep to live, and when you’re a baby, crying is a good way to let somebody know that you need to eat or sleep.  stretching though is different.  there doesn’t seem to be much information on the why of it.  i can only assume that we are born stretching because it helps us grow.  i can only assume that newborns stretch because God thought it a good illustration for us.  i can only assume that we should all always be extending Stretch
ourselves and forcing ourselves beyond our normal limits, reaching from one point to another, reaching forth. 

June 28, 2008

a trip to target

okay, at the risk of sounding like one of those moms who is totally overwhelmed and who’s kids are completely out of control, i will tell you about our trip to target yesterday.

first let me say, i have four.  four energetic, lively, sometimes opinionated, sometimes stubborn, bright, always entertaining little ones and i am mostly organized and on the ball and capable of taking care of them and keeping them under control, most of the time, yesterday did not happen to be most of the time.  i did manage to get them all out of the house with clothes and shoes on and into their car seats in under 30 minutes which was good.  so off we went, down the highway, me on the phone, music on, no screaming or fighting or crying.  "this might be an okay trip to the store" i thought.  wrong. 

we got to target.  i unloaded the kiddies into a cart and off we went to get icee’s.   and then i realized i had forgotten my wallet.  great, oh well, let’s go, i must have left it in the van.  wrong.  i left it at home.  okay,  fine, everybody back in the van, sorry kids, we’ll come right  back.  so now i’m driving on the service road, getting ready to get on the highway and grace stands up in her car seat.  i thought she was strapped in.  wrong.  now gabe and emma are screaming "mommy, get gracie, get gracie, it’s dangerous, it’s dangerous!!"  so i quickly, carefully pull over at a gas station to put her in her seat and she has a fit complete with back arching and kicking and screaming.  about 10 minutes later we are both sweaty and frustrated and she is strapped in.  so off we go, everybody is in right?  wrong.  emma apparently decided to go check out the gas station while i was fussing with grace.  she is halfway across the parking lot, her hair bouncing away in the distance.  luckily she turns around and catches a glimpse of the horror in my eyes and decides to come back to the van before i can get any words out of my mouth.  she gets a little talking to about sneaking off while mommie’s not looking and walking across parking lots and into gas stations, a talk i would never have guessed that i needed to have with my oh so shy three year old.  so now, now we are all in and ready to go back to our house and get my wallet.  we do, and we make it back to target with a minimal amount of screaming and crying and fighting.  and again we unload into a cart and head for the icee’s.  the shopping is not to bad.  they are mostly tame, except when they aren’t.  (and i will just take this time to say, when you see a mom with four small kids, two chasing each other through the aisles and getting into trouble, a toddler on her hip covered in blue icee, and one standing in the shopping cart whining about princess fruit snacks, it is not helpful to stare, nor is it helpful to make faces, it is not even helpful to make comments about  "how that happens" or  question her about "how many more of those"  she is planning on having.)   so we are about halfway done with our grocery shopping and we’ve only made two trips to the bathroom, not bad.  now we are on a search for hot dog buns.  they do not have any and this is very distressing for gabe.  griffen suggests we use burger buns, but that will not do.  gabe is now frantically running from aisle to aisle looking for anything resembling hot dog buns and i am standing at the end of an aisle trying to get him to calm down and come back.  finally he concedes that we can use bread if we fold it.  fine, perfect.   but then something is not fine or perfect,  something is dripping on my toes.  what could that be?  the icee’s are long gone and there are no other liquids to be spilled… ?  oh, grace.   grace somehow tinkled all over me.  i assumed the diaper she was wearing would serve as some barrier between me and the result of her gulping down emma’s icee.  wrong.  it was everywhere.  my shirt and shorts and toes were wet, and there was a little baby sized puddle on the floor.  nice.  so we shuffled out of there and paid for all of our stuff, or so i thought.  wrong.  somehow in the mix of me getting peed on and trying to get my four little rugrats out of there, we accidentally stole some baby flip-flops.  oh, well, next time i’m here i’ll bring the tag and pay for them.  i am not going back in there now.  and then griff, bless his heart, in trying to help load the stuff in the van while i put a new diaper on grace, he simultaneously put a hole in the dog food bag and the milk.  not nice.  really not nice.   

i have to say, the whole time though, through all of this, i remained calm, placid even, cool as a cucumber, i smiled and laughed.  and that is the key i think, you can’t let them know they’re getting to you.  because then they win.  am i right?  and really, what good would one more of us having a fit have helped?  really.  it was an adventure, we made it though.  i made it with no screaming or crying or fighting.   

and i think the lesson i learned is-  target does not really have very good theft prevention.Flips

June 22, 2008

this girl

this grace.  this little one is sunlight to me.  her face, her smile, her eyes, shine, shine, shine.   today she sat in my lap and looked at me and i said "gracey, you’re so pretty." and then she said "pri-dee".  and oh my gosh, those two syllables suit her little mouth.  the way her pouty lips formed those sounds and then the corners turned up into a smile was perfection.  she laughed at the sound of her own tiny voice and said it again "pri-dee".  what could i do but sit in wonder at my baby girl?  emma and the boys clapped and marveled at her new word and we all said it over and over just to hear her say it over and over.  pretty is quite an understatement if you ask me, this girl is beautiful beyond words, and she Gracey
brings light and love wherever she goes.  she is our beautiful baby, she is our sunshine, this little grace, and we are hers.   

June 21, 2008


these kids are mine.  they are mine and i have missed them.  i have missed griffen’s words and gabe’s kisses and emma’s dances and grace’s smiles.  i have missed moments with them, moments of their lives that i don’t want to miss.  and even though some of those moments that i missed were fits and fights and messes and mishaps, they were mine to miss.  and i wish i hadn’t because i also missed the cuddles and  talks and hugs and times in between and around those moments.  these kids are mine and in them i see me.  i see my flaws and my triumphs.  i hear my words and my voice.  and in their eyes i see hope and redemption.  and from their mouths i hear joy and life.  they are my dreams, these kids.  they are future dreams and the dreams of my youth running around my house.  they are what i have prayed for, hoped for and worked for.  and they are what i live for.  these kids are mine and they are like my heart divided in to four, except somehow the love is multiplied.  they are mine, my moments, my fits and fights and mishaps and messes, my flaws and triumphs, my hope and redemption, my words, my voice, my joy, my life, my dreams, my prayers, my heart.Mine

June 16, 2008

my little photographer

gabe.  he’s been kind of sick today.  he’s been on the couch watching movies and being bored.  so, wanting to cheer him up a bit, i said, "do you want to take some pictures?"  and he said so enthusiastically "YES!!  YES!! I love to take pictures, let’s go!"  oh man, it makes me so happy that he loves to take pictures.  unfortunately he wanted to take pictures of me, but he was so excited, I went with it.  so we went outside and he started directing me, "look at emma.  look here, laugh at me.  stand like this.  hold gracie."  he’s so good at it already.  i’m a little scared that he might be tough competition someday.  he moves around and turns the camera.  his sense of composition is great.  his intent to get natural shots is sweet.  he’s got vision that’s for sure.  really, what more can i ask for than a kid with great vision?  it’s a sign of greatness i think.  and as much as i hate being in front of the camera, it wasn’t bad, it was kind of fun.  and i’m ok with the fact that my face is missing from half the shots.  he had a blast.  Mlp
it was worth it just to see him perk up.  he is my little photographer, my gabeeo.

June 14, 2008

summer nights

these long lazy days that melt into late breezy nights are my favorite.  no school to get up early for.  no reason not to run through the sprinkler.  no way anybody can go to bed without a bath because we’ve all been playing hard all day in the sun.  nothing to keep us from piling on to the couch and falling asleep halfway through Finding Nemo.   summer is here and i love it.  i love the ease of our days and the peace of our nights.  i love this time spent with my loves.  i love the days because of the freedom and laugter, i love the nights because… 


June 12, 2008

conversations with the boys

so, my kids, as you know are the best.  they make me think and they crack me up, they are nothing if not entertaining.  and i will totally admit that most of the time, i  put them in the van, strap them in and turn up their favorite cd to drown out the noise, but sometimes, on a good day, we talk in the van.  here’s a couple of snippets from yesterday-

griffen:  there’s a fly in the van.   let’s kill it.
gabe:  well, if we had a sword we could kill it. 
griffen:  but we don’t have a sword in the van.
gabe:  yeah, because it might kill somebody, like our baby.  and i don’t want to kill our baby, i like her.  i definitely don’t want to kill any babies.

although it’s not a logical connection, killing flies and killing
babies, it was interesting to hear him quickly and easily decide which
one was ok and which one wasn’t.   it’s a conclusion i’m glad he came to, a good one, one that honestly, not everybody comes to. 

and then this one from griff-

griff: mom, why are we at target again?
me: because we need to get a tv stand
griff: mom, do you need a tv stand?
me: yes, our tv is on the floor right now because the one i bought is too small and the old one is broken.
griff: mom, will you die without a tv stand?
me: no.
griff: then you don’t need it.  you just want it.  a need is something you really need and you just want the wants.
me: ok, thank you, that’s good griff.  now, i want a tv stand, come on.

and just in case you’re wondering, that’s a lego piece that gabe stole from a  friends house that we have to return today, and that’s ketchup on griffen’s face, from the happy meals we just ate.  we’re good, but we’re not perfect. 

June 10, 2008

caden and emily

they’re cousins, they are the babies of my friends, except their mommies are more than my friends and these babies are more than the babies of my friends.  i am not quite sure what to call them, (or their mommies), but i am quite sure that i am so in love with them.  his quiet, calm disposition and her contagious, enormous smile. caden is so fresh and new and so stinkin’ sweet.  and emily is so full of joy and light and so stinkin’ cute.  and jake and nick are their amazing big brothers/cousins, a couple of sweethearts who love these little bundles dearly, and i love those guys too.   there is something about babies though.  the newness and the smallness that carves out big places in my heart.  these babies are adored.  they are my little lovies, maybe my new favorites, (don’t tell my kids).  Cadenandemilyandmommiesandyaya_2
their mommies are like family except i like them way more.  their yaya is fabulous, the best really.  these families, this family, they make me happy in lots of ways.  they are genuine and they are fun, they are kind and good.  it is way too rare to find a family who loves the way they do.  i know i’ve said it before, but truly, they have changed the way i think about families. 

June 4, 2008


this little one, this little pie, she is my babiest baby.  she is the tiniest, she walked the latest, she still drinks bottles, she’s the most cuddly by far, she’s just the babiest, and i love that.  i love that my baby is still a baby and together we’re holding off toddler-hood as long as possible.   i’m not sure what the actual measurements and technical requirements are for calling these pigtails, but i’m doing it. her first pigtails.  she hates them, she fussed the whole time i was fixing them and took them out almost immediately.  emma was so excited for her though, emma loves them, and wanted her own to match.  and that is so them.  my girly girl who squeals when she gets a little dirty does not like the outdoors at all and my baby girl who gets excited at the site of grass and comes crawling fast when the front door opens to get outside and play in the dirt.  they are the princess and the pie, my sweet, lovey girlsLoveygirls  

June 2, 2008


So I started this blog because I miss sharing those fun, happy, quirky, sweet moments with my kids.  Because of extenuating circumstances, I don’t have anyone to share them with and all these words are running around in my head all day long.  So many words, thousands of them.  Most are very random and some of the words should stay in my head and never be spoken or written.  But if you’ve talked to me in the last couple of months, you may have noticed, my mouth opens and words start coming out and it’s all I can do to catch my breath between sentences.  Griffen got his yearly report from his speech teacher and it said "He has shown great improvement, I’m very proud of him.  We do still need to work on his breathing, he starts talking and is so anxious to get his thoughts out that he tries to inhale while he’s saying words."   I can so relate.  I do love to talk, but I need to get back to writing because these amazing kids, they make me think.  They make me ponder big things like world politics and global warming and they make me question little things like dinosaur shaped chicken nuggets and blue shampoo.  They make me wonder why and how and where and when.  They make sure there is never a dull moment.  They make sure I get plenty of hugs and not too much sleep.  These wonderful children of mine drive me crazy all too often.  They bring me to the end of me almost daily.  They are mine and if they were perfect they wouldn’t be and that is why they are perfect.  These girlies and bros, I do love them so…Girliesandbros

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