This Decision

Because nobody talks about this. Because I wish I had been here two years ago. Because I wish I had known more people who were.

And because I have been asked more than a few times since this new relationship started, one way or another, if I am sticking to my “goal”. (And for those of you who aren’t interested in clicking on that link, the “goal” is to not have sex outside of marriage.) I guess some people thought my mind would change once there was a guy around. This is the thing though- It is not a goal. It is a decision.To be very Yoda about it, it is not something I am trying not to do. It is something I am not doing. And I’m not going to tell you that it’s easy. It isn’t. But also, it’s not not doable. (And for those of you who knew me a year ago, you can go ahead and chuckle. Laugh it up. I was wrong. Whatdoyaknow? )

So it is certainly not the easiest decision ever. But I am quite certain it is right.

One night I was discussing this issue with a friend, well we were mostly just complaining and venting about the practicalities. But at one point, this story got told and it was in fact very helpful…

The other night as I went to kiss my amazing ten year old son who is very much like a fifty year old man on the forehead, I noticed a tiny little red pimple.  And I said “Ohmygosh Griff! How cute! You have your first zit! You’re growing up!!” And my very old ten year old grunted and sighed. “Ugghh. It’s so hard being extra mature!”

And that’s pretty much where I’m at. This is part of being a grown up. This will be worth it. And I am not going to go all preachy about the “why’s” (right now) and I am certainly not going to talk about the “how’s”.  I will give you no philosophical nor theological things to chew on. I’m not gonna wax poetic about how difficult and rewarding it is.

Just wanted to let you know- Yes. I am not. And ugghh. It’s so hard being extra mature.

Oh and stay tuned for the scoop on the New Guy…  For now I will just say- He’s gooooooood.

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