New Friends

God has Super-Blessed me with a plethora of wonderful and amazing New Friends. Hi!!!  I am glad to know you and so super excited about getting to know you more.  And I thought it only fair to make you aware of some of my “quirks” while there is still time for you to turn and run in the other direction…

– I am firmly convinced that black birds are the devils minions. There is a fair chance that you will have to “guard” me from these evil flying creatures at some point.  I just can’t get past the beady eyes, nasty beaks and creepy claws, plus they are always staring at me.  They freak me out and I am pretty sure they have all been sent on a mission to get me.  Trying to convince me otherwise would be an exercise in frustration.

– I got a little extra dose of that “Mama Bear” thing.  It is near impossible to offend me personally, but I can get rather fierce if I feel my friends or children might be hurt in the slightest by unkind actions or words.  Not that I’ll punch you or anything.  I’m more of a diffuser, unless I feel like you need to be punched. (kidding.) (mostly.)

– I believe there is a difference between Hip Hop and Rap music.  And I love Hip Hop, along with every other style of music from Indie-Folk to Classic Rock.  Except for Country, don’t even get me started.  The commercial junk on K104: Crap.  Rakim, The Roots and Talib Kweli: Good Stuff.   

– I can’t not dance if there is good music in the general vicinity.  I call it being “dancy” some people might call it being “nine years old”. There’s no way for me to sit still when there is a good beat or a great tune in the room.  My feet auto-tap and my hands, well… as Bridget likes to say, I like to “bang on things”.  If you need to have a serious conversation with me, keep Timbaland and Kari Jobe as far away as possible. 

– I’ve mentioned this before, but really it can not be overstated: My eyesight is awful.  If you’ve recently had your hair done and I didn’t notice, this is why.  I wear contacts and I have glasses, but my vision can’t be corrected back to 20/20 even with very strong prescriptions.  If you want to go somewhere with me we’re going to need to sit up front, and you might want to drive.  I’m just sayin’.

– I love words immensely and I hang on to them forever.  They stay with me though my brain gets fuzzy on many, many other details.  It’s totally possible that the offhanded comment you made at lunch the other day was just that, an offhanded commend, but  I will probably be able to quote you a couple of years from now.  This almost never comes in handy. 

– I am a shopping miracle. I know this sounds weird, but you should take me shopping and see.  Things on my list magically appear and are almost always half their normal cost.  I’m not even kidding. It’s a total blessing and it has happened on many occasions.  The downside is I will not buy things if they are not insanely good deals, and I will discourage you from doing so as well, even if it is on your list and in your budget.  If it isn’t cheap and perfect, we’re not getting it.  Makes shopping with me a mixed bag of misery and euphoria

– I need to hold babies if they are around.  I will take a number if need be, but it is absolutely necessary.  I may not even know them that well (or at all), but if there is a tiny human, I want it in my arms.  Babies make me insanely happy.  If they’re crying I will bounce them.  If they need a burp that’s fine too; I don’t even mind getting spit up on.  If they are happy, I will kiss them.  I take that back, I’m kissing them regardless. 

And so there you have it New Friends, a very brief list of some of the quirks that I am aware of, I’m sure there are hundreds more.  Old Friends feel free to chime in 🙂

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