A Push

Sometimes coming to someone I love who generally has all the right answers and telling them my Big Overwhelming Problem and hearing them say “I don’t know” is extremely helpful.  I went to a friend the other night all tense with anxiety.  I spilled.  She held my hands, looked me in the eyes and said "Well, I don't know."   And I breathed a deep sigh of relief.  Those were exactly the words I needed to hear.  Because it meant that figuring out the answer was not her job.  Or mine.  It was like a little nudge. 

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Sometimes "I don't know" is more like "I love you and I understand this is tough. You're going to have to take this to Him."  Don’t get me wrong, I’m a huge fan of consulting friends about stuff.  I’m all for gaining wisdom from relationships.  But sometimes.  Sometimes I come to someone with a problem and no part of me even wants them to have the answer.  What I really want is for someone to confirm that what I am going through is in fact a Very Big Deal.  Not that I’m going around looking for sympathy, but a little validation never hurt anyone.   

Sometimes though, what I really need is a push towards Jesus.  Because I can spend hours, days really in my own head, untying knots and untangling things, and make no real progress at all.  Sometimes I just need somebody to look at the mess I’m holding and say “Uh, yeah. You’re not gonna be able to fix that sweetheart. Better take it to that Amazing Father of yours.”

Did that ever happen when you were a kid?  Did you ever try to fix something, mess it up even worse and then try to get your friend to help you fix it only to realize that you were going to have to show your Dad what you had done?  Scary stuff?  Yeah well, I didn’t have a dad around to make that a scary thing for me.  Instead it’s just not something I’ve ever thought to do.  It wasn’t an option for me when I was little, so sometimes I totally forget that it’s an option now.

Sometimes I need a little reminding.  Because there are days when I look at my problems and think I can totally figure this out.  And there are times when I think What would Nancy do?  (Actually, if there is something that I have decided I can't work out on my own, I generally just call her and ask.)  But it is unfortunately rare that I go straight to Him.  It just is not my default, (yet).  So I am thankful for the occaisional push.  And I'm leanring. 

I'm learning to stop running around in my own head, and to recognize the urge to do so quicker.   I'm learning that it's good to have friends validate my feelings, but it is way better to hand my stuff over to Him.  I am learning that I can trust Him with hard things.  He is not scary, and He is so much more than safe. 

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And I am so grateful for this Amazing Father who is both ready and willing to help me with the things I am struggling with.  And boy am I ever thankful for friends who don't have all the answers and aren't afraid to push me towards Him when I need it.   

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One Comment to “A Push”

  1. I love your transparency, Amber! I had this EXACT situation today.

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