This Man

This one.

This guy that  you already know I am absolutely head over heels for…

Pauls 

A giant of a man in all the most wonderful ways and too humble to think that of himself…

Ptinvt
I got to spend a little extra time with him the last couple of weeks as he helped me in The Great Vehicle Hunt, and it just made me appreciate even more that God put him in my life.  He is just good, ridiculously intelligent, incredibly wise, all kinds of loving, so, so giving, caring, selfless, full of wit and charm and strength, devoted like you would not believe… I could go on for days really.  I will say this:  He has redeemed so much of my story by just being himself.  By simply loving me the way he does, he has increased my capacity to love and be loved.  He is just that great.  I came across something I wrote to him a while back…

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Hey Paul,
As my appreciation and admiration border adoration, I'm running through why you are so grand to me…
You've loved me the way not many have… Presumptuous maybe to say you love me, you haven't said it, but you don't say much anyways, so I’ll make my assumptions about our relationship from what I see in your eyes.  Your eyes full of truth speak volumes and I believe I have read love in them. I believe that you are good, I know it as a matter of fact.  So my appreciation and admiration might come with some assumptions but correct me if I’m wrong (and I will argue you I promise).  See what I’ve learned from you is that love can be right and unselfish… How you husband, how you father makes me know for sure- that there are good ones out there.  The standard has been set in the way you love me without caring what you get.  At your table, in your home my story has been redeemed… The first person I ever recall being protective of me, in your slight, natural way- you were.  And it was so foreign to me I wasn't sure what to call it and then when I realized what it was…  And as I realized how you cared… My mouth often full of words failed me in expressing gratitude and I stumbled over words of thanks and struggled not to cry…
Because you have changed my life and I’m not sure why…
But thankful I will ever be for all that you have been. Still not quite sure what to call you… The closest I have ever had to a father but that word for me is tinged with bitterness…  Mine was certainly not great, not even good really, and so I haven’t quite worked out exactly what a father is. He never smiled at me the way you do, maybe never smiled at me at all, and you do all the time.  It is your smile that has shown me so much.  If your eyes are the windows to your soul, then your smile is the door to your heart.  And I love it.  Love you and the way you live, calling yourself and others to higher things, making choices other wouldn't and don't because they aren't as strong as you. Your dedication and devotion as downplayed as they are, are demonstrations to me of how to be.  So you get my appreciation and my admiration that borders adoration. It is not much but it is all I can offer really- that and a tremendous amount of love. 

Love you so so much, always
Amber

 

 

Hims

So as I am processing lots of things relative to these thoughts the last couple of weeks and working through the concept of “A Good Daddy”, I am overwhelmed once again with gratefulness for this man, this family, this Love.   God is good, all the time. 

Devotions

 

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