this Mood

On days like today when the clouds and rain threaten to remove every bit of light and joy from my mood, I have to work hard at not whining the day away.   On days when I feel like I want to whine the day away, I try to create.  And for me creating usually means taking photos.  On days like today though, when the light is stifled by stormy skies, it's almost impossible to get good photos.  So this voice in my head says- "Go work on your to-do list, and then take a nap, give up on the photo idea.  Creating can't happen on a day like today."  The thing is, if this voice had just kept quiet, and not been so adamant, not said the word "can't", I would probably be doing dishes right now, but I am not a fan of the thought, the idea, the word "can't", and so
I pick up my camera
And I find some light
And I compose
And I capture
I take pictures, because it feeds me. 
It is an indulgence, like chocolate.  It brightens my soul. 
And I am addicted to it.  The details captivate me.
The dimples on her hand…
The way the shape of her ear, and that lock of hair, and her eyelashes, and her nose and mouth all follow the same curve…
The way she carefully chose out which buttons to hold…

and how her slightly parted lips match that spool of pink thread…
And so, some days I write poems on days like today. 
Some days I dance. 
Some days I just love on my kids.

This moment though, is today's "yes I can".
It is just a moment I suppose, it is just three pictures of Grace choosing her favorite button from my great-grand-mother's sewing kit
It's a poem, a song- and it's love.
A poem  
I'm not sure exactly what I want to say…
I think…
It is such a gift, such an amazing thing that God put this ability to create in all of us. 
Some of us can create meals, or create buildings, or books, songs, some of our art is in numbers, some in wood, some in fabrics… 
You get the idea, my point is- it is in all of us, the ability to reflect Him by creating. 
We can choose light and joy. 
We can have it, and be it. 
We can see it.
And I love that there are buttons all over the floor underneath them.
You know what I mean?
It works. 
I think sometimes He looks at the light and joy He has created and says "I love that mess around them.  It works."


One Comment to “this Mood”

  1. Still sighing and whining on this end…but loving your girls and your reaching toward the light.

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