emmy

Emmys
my girl, my emmy has brought so much to my life.  it is both amazing and a little sad to see her growing.  she started coming up to me and saying "mommy, are you finking what i’m finking?" and when i say, "i don’t know em, what are you thinking?" she says, "umm, i don’t know".  and she started "writing" in a notebook.  she sits and scribbles little lines and then brings me the notebook and asks me to read it.  "i don’t know what this says mommy, you read it".  every day she asks and argues about wearing make-up, and she has to have her purse with her everywhere we go, she likes her hair a certain way and she’s totally into shoes.  she is losing what little baby-ness she ever had.  she wants to be a big girl, she wants to be like me.  can i say it is a little jarring to see her mimic my actions and behaviors?  i understand that as her mother it is my job to set a good example and to be intentional about the way i live so that she can mimic my actions and behaviors.  this is not a new concept to me, it’s just becoming more real right now.  she’s a girl now, a little girl maybe, but it seems since she was very little, maybe six months, there was something in her that couldn’t wait to grow up.  people have commented on her photos and said there was "something about her".  i’m not sure exactly what that something is, but it scares me.  she’s got some attitude for sure, not a bad one, just something that you can see in her eyes, kind of like "i know."  it’s like she has some awareness of her beauty and femininity.  how scary is that?   she is three and already, she knows.  and already, she wants to grow up.   

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